Jan 11, 2007

Letter From Grandma

Dear Eugene,

Just a few lines ta say we’re fine hope you are the same. Not much happening around here ceptin ya, great, great Aunt Ercie who as you know just turned 96. And for the last four years has been the oldest license driver in the county… well she might be losing her license. It all started when she called 911 to report that her car has been broken into. She was hysterical while she talk to the dispatcher: She told em "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." And A few minutes later, it started going down hill for her, when the officer radios in. "Disregard the claim" He says. “Ms. Ercie got in the back-seat by mistake."

Love Grandma

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Joke in A Poke

A very distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office and said: "Is it true that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.

Then there was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, if you can tell me just how serious is my condition?

And before the doctor could answer she said: "Because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."

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Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia

(Greg) Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia. I pick the topic, Then the boys give your their take on it. One of them is telling you a truth and the other one is tryin to trick ya. .……

O.K. Guys I was cleaning out one of the closet the other day and I found a old board game that my kids used to play and so I want you two tell me something about the Game Candy Land. Eugene you go first.

(Eugene) Greg, The game was designed in the 1940s by Eleanor Abbott, while she was recovering from polio in San Diego, California. The game was bought by Milton Bradley Company (now owned by Hasbro) and first published in 1949. A December, 2005 article in Forbes magazine analyzed the most popular American toys by decade, with help from the Toy Industry Association. Candy Land led the list for the 1940-1949 decade. Least ways that’s how I reco-leck….

(Greg) Ok Tex tell us about the boardgame Candy Land

(Tex) Well Greg the truth of the matter is at least 4 different versions of the Candy Land boardgame were made. A picture from the Carmen Toy Museum, opened 1959, shows a track layout different from the more modern versions. The next revision, from the 1970s and 1980s, has the modern track layout, and ends with a purple square. In the most modern version, there is a rainbow-striped square at the end to make the home plate visually explicit. The rules for the modern game also specify that a character may draw a card to advance to the added purple squares resulting in a much shorter game if desired. And the forth version being a limited edition where there were actual candy parts placed on the board with a painted version of that candy underneath so after the child eats the candy they can still play the game.

(Who was telling the truth?)

NOV 3, 2006

Letter From Grandma

Dear Eugene,

Love Grandma

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Joke in A Poke

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."

"Yes", the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

And one little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

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Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia

(Eugene) Greg, Our story begins in 1932 where Ole Kirk Christiansen, master carpenter and joiner, establishes a small business in the village of Billund in Denmark. His company manufactures stepladders, ironing boards... and wooden toys.
In 1934 the company adopts the name LEGO for their products, formed from the Danish words "LEg GOdt" or "play well". Later on it's realized that in Latin the word means "I study" or "I put together"; an ironic coincidence that follows the toy through the decades. There was a fire at the factory and all the old equipment was destroyed and they built back but decided to use plastic injection and only build toys and one thing led to another and that’s how it all stacked up.

(Tex) As I recall Greg By 1956 plastic toys account for half of the toys in the world. And the familiar wooden toys were losing ground to the new and more popular plastic. The original name for Lego Blocks was Binding Bricks, then changed to " "LEGO Bricks" - the familiar term we all know them by today. A total of 32 sets and 12 vehicles with extra parts where available and still are today. It signaled a revolution in the toy world; allowing the owner to expand and create without a strict set of guidelines to follow. After a few years the actual stud and tube coupling system the toy uses is patented; In 1959 Wayne Elson founder dies and his Godfree Elson becomes head of the company. LEGO remains a family business to the present, with grandson Kevin Elson currently at the helm.

(Eugene was telling the truth)

OCT 19, 2006

Letter From Grandma

Dear Eugene,

Hope all is well with you were fine ceptin Ya Grandpa had the Doc Clarence he’s the new Vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn't doing well at tall. After checking the bull's vital signs, the Vet reached in his black bag and pulled out a rather large pill. He forced open the bull's mouth and crammed the pill down his throat. You should a seen it, why that old bull jumped up and took off like a banshee, jumping every fence in his way.

The vet handed ya Grandpa a bill and said, "Well, looks like your bull is healed!" And then ya grandpa sezs, "Well, Doc ya need to give me one of those pills. The vet sezs why what on earth for would you want to take one these pills?

Grandpas said: Well now I've gotta catch him!"

Love Grandma

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Joke in A Poke

A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars." "Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man ask. The owner replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer." The man asked about the next parrot on the perch. "That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the new tax system." Naturally, the startled customer asked about the third parrot. "That one costs 2,000 dollars." "And what does that one do?" the man asked. The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"

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Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia

(Eugene) Greg, In was 1933, when a fellar name of Ralph Wiley, a Dow Chemical lab worker, accidentally discovered polyvinylidene chloride or Saran. Ralph, a college student who cleaned glassware in a Dow Chemical lab, came across a vial he couldn't scrub clean. He called the substance "eonite", after an indestructible material in the comic strip "Little Orphan Annie." Dow researchers made Ralph's "eonite" into a greasy, dark green film, which Dow called "Saran" which later they made into a film that everybody knows today. Least ways that’s how I reco-leck….

(Greg) Ok Tex tell us about Thermos Bottles

(Tex) As I recall Greg the truth of the matter is that it was The navy who invented saran wrap it was originally in a liquid form and they sprayed it on ship metal parts to guard against salty sea spray . It was green color and had an unpleasant odor. After World War 2, it was approved for food packaging, and it was Sanctioned in 1959 by the (Society of the Plastics Industry). Better known as the PVDC it was cleared for use as a food contact surface as a base polymer, in food package gaskets, in direct contact with dry foods, and for use in contact with fatty and moistures foods.

(Tex was telling the truth)

OCT 12, 2006

Letter From Grandma

Dear Eugene,

Hope all is well with you and this letter finds you in good health and spirits. Ya Nephew Nathan told me to start this letter out like that he sezs its more proper. But you know what I mean we’re fine and I hope you’re the same. But anyways not much happening round here lately ceptin ya Tyler done got in trouble at school.

It seems In class the other day, Mr. Johnson pulled Tyler over to his desk after a test, and sezs, "Tyler I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests." Tyler sezs no way and ask Mr. Johnson to prove it. "Well, sezs Mr. Johnson, I was looking over your test and the question was, 'Who was our first president?' and the little girl that sits next to you, Mary, put 'George Washington,' and so did you."

"So, everyone knows that he was the first president. Tyler sezs" "Well, just wait a minute," sezs Mr. Johnson. "The next question was, 'Who freed the slaves?' Mary put Abraham Lincoln and so did you." "Well, I read the history book and I remembered that," sezs Johnny. "Wait, wait," sezs Mr. Johnson. The next question was, 'Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?' Mary put 'I don't know,' and you put, 'Me neither'." So anyways the good book sezs your sins shall find you out.

Love Grandma

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Joke in A Poke

The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court. But custody of the children was a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should be given custody of them. The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked him on what grounds does he believe he should have custody of the children, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and replied, "Judge, when I put a dollar in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"

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Thoughts

(Greg) Well, Folks we got some thought provoking statements we thought you might like. Tex you get it started:

(Tex) 1. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

(Eugene) 2. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

(Greg) 3. For every positive action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

(Tex) 4. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

(Eugene) 5. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

(Greg) 6. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

(Tex) 7. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

(Eugene) 8. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

(Greg) 9. A lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic ...think about it!

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Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia

(Gregg) I pick the topic, Then the boys give your their take on it. One of them is telling you a truth and the other one is tryin to trick ya.

(Eugene) Greg, I love ta tell folks about this simply because it proves nessicity is the mother of invention. In 1909 at the Alaska Yukon Pacific Exposition where Hans Yellson won the exposition and made history for having warm coffee at the end of the journey. The coffee not steaming hot but still warm was kept with him on the trip in his own invention, the thermos. His thermos went on to be honored at seven other world expositions. What was it? Nothing more than A quart mason jar wrapped in cloth and placed in a biskit tin lined with fine ground sand and sawdust. Least ways that’s how I recoleck….

(Greg) Ok Tex tell us about Thermos Bottles

(Tex) As I recall Greg the truth of the matter is in 1892 it was Sir James Dewar, a scientist at Oxford University, who Invented the "vacuum flask" And it was first manufactured for commercial use in 1904, when two German glass blowers formed Thermos GmbH. Which is short for Glass, Molded, ahhhh….. something to do with the glass liner I can’t recall the last two words. But anyway, They held a contest to name the "vacuum flask" and a resident of Munich submitted "Thermos", which came from the Greek word "Therme" meaning "heat".

(Tex was telling the truth)

OCT 5, 2006

Letter From Grandma

Dear Eugene,

Just a few lines ta say we’s fine and hope you’re the same.

Not much happening here lately cepting your Nephew Tyler done got ya Aunt Bernadine and ya Uncle Taso into a fuss. It all started when Tyler kept a fussing a fussing and a wanten ta go to the zoo on account a he never been ta one a fore and a lot of his friends had. So Bernadine stayed after Taso until he agreed ta take little Tyler. When they got back Bernadine asks Tyler how was their day at the zoo? Tyler sez it was great!

Then she ask him well, did you and your daddy both have a good time? And Tyler sezs yeah Dad especially liked it when one of them animals thare came racing across the line ta home at 30 ta 1. And as you can magine, it went down hill from thare.

Love Grandma

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Joke in A Poke

A preacher was walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer boy struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

"You look hot, my son," said the preacher. "why don't you rest a moment, and then I'll give you a hand."

"No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it."

"Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water, and after we sit a spell I’ll help you finish your load."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the preacher said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young boy, "he's under this load of hay."

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Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia

(Gregg) I pick the topic, Then the boys give your their take on it. One of them is telling you a truth and the other one is tryin to trick ya. .……

(Eugene) Greg, The term "electric blanket" was not used until the 1960s, these blankets used to be called "warming mats" or "heated throws" And it was in 1945 the first automatic electric blanket or heated throw or warming mat, which ever term you want to use. Any ways they went on sale in the US for $29.50, in Waterville, Virginia. During a home improvement show.

The company who displayed it was called Western Holly later purchased by Maytag in the early 70’s Least ways that’s how I recoleck….

(Greg) Ok Tex tell us about doughnuts’s

(Tex) As I recall Greg the truth of the matter The first crude electric blanket was invented in the early 1900s. The heated bed coverings bore little resemblance to the electric blankets we are familiar with today. They were big and bulky heating devices that were dangerous to use, and the blankets were really considered an oddity. And as I recall an inventor named S. I. Russell patented an electric blanket and most consider him the inventor of the electric blanket.

(Tex was telling the truth)

SEPT 28, 2006

Letter From Grandma

Dear Eugene,

Just a few lines ta say we’s fine and hope you’re the same.

Love Grandma

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Joke in A Poke

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up in the dictionary!" The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."

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Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia

(Gregg) I pick the topic, Then the boys give your their take on it. One of them is telling you a truth and the other one is tryin to trick ya. .……

(Eugene) Greg, it seems ta me that my 8th grade teacher told me once about how The earliest occurrence of the term 'dough nut' is in the "History of New York" by a fellar named Washington Irving, (1809) wherein he wrote in a comical description of Dutch settlers in New Amsterdam (which was later named New York) that the doughnut as we know it started out as balls of sweetened dough, fried in hog's fat, and called dough nuts, because they looked like big fried walnuts." And the hole was later cut due to the middle not getting cooked all the way. Least ways that’s how I recoleck….

Greg) Ok Tex tell us about doughnuts

(Tex) As I recall Greg the truth of the matter is In 1817, a French ship’s captain enjoyed his mother's pastries. Made using a deep-fried spiced dough, Francine Duwall put hazelnuts or walnuts in the center, where the dough might not cook through - "doughnuts." Captain Duwall claimed credit for originating the hole in the doughnut. Saying he got the ideal after always eating the nuts out of the middle first. Originally, he cut the hole using the top of a round tin snuff box. This made more uniform frying possible with increased surface area, and is commemorated by a bronze plaque at his hometown, Rhode Island.

(Eugene was telling the truth)

SEPT 21, 2006

Letter From Grandma

Dear Eugene,

Just a few lines ta say we’s fine and hope you’re the same. Your Uncle Taso and ya Aunt Beradine are needin ya prayers.

What with everyone for the last few years a wantin to eat more organic foods they decided last spring ta share crop with Ole man Swanson and sow the whole forty acres of his land inta spinach, and its just been a flop. This is about as bad as the time your Grandpa and Nathan brought all the firestone tires from that fellar down south and couldn’t sell a one of em. Well, as they say Chicken one day feathers the next.

Guess I better go fer now and fix some more tea fer ya Grandpa is a comin in the door. Write soon.

Love Grandma

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Joke in A Poke

lady walked to work each morning and home again each evening. On her way to work, she passed a pet store. The pet store owner sat his talking parrot outside the store in a cage. One morning the bird said "hey lady"! She says "yes, " The bird goes "you’re UGLY" The lady goes "Well" and sped off to work. All day long she thought about what that bird said. On the way back home that afternoon as she passed by the bird, again the bird yells "Hey Lady!) she says "what?) the bird says "You are UGLEEE"!!! Again she sped off. Restless all night, she couldn't get that bird off her mind. She decided that if that bird did that again the next day she was going to take action.

Sure enough, as she walked by the next morning the bird yells "Hey Lady, you are UGLY.) Shegoes into the pet store and let the pet shop owner have a piece of her mind. The pet store owner told her that he would have a talk with the bird and he would assure her that his bird would never tell her she was ugly again.

She walked on to work thinking she had fixed that bird. Well as she walked home that afternoon and approached the bird, the bird yells "Hey Lady". She goes "yes bird?" The bird replies "you know!!!!!"

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Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia

(Gregg) I pick the topic, Then the boys give your their take on it. One of them is telling you a truth and the other one is tryin to trick ya. .……

(Eugene) Greg, D.F. Duncan Sr. world wide known yo-yo producer, as you may have heard of him. Well, Duncan was not the inventor of the yo-yo; they have been around for over twenty-five hundred years. In fact the yo-yo is considered the second oldest toy in history, the oldest being the doll. In ancient Greece, the toy (yo-yo) was made of wood, metal and terra cotta. The Greeks decorated the two halves of the yo-yo with pictures of their gods. As a right of passage into adulthood Greek children often gave up their toys and placed them on the family alter to pay homage. Least ways that’s how I recoleck….

(Gregg) Ok Tex tell us about Yo-Yo’s

(Tex) As I recall Greg The word yo-yo is a Tag-a-log word, the native language of the Hemilanians, and means 'return soon.' In the Hemilanians, the yo-yo was a weapon for over 200 hundred years. Their version was large with spikes and nails and attached to thick 18ft ropes for flinging at enemies. People in the United States started playing with the French yo-yo in the 1880s. It was not until the 1920s that Americans first heard the word yo-yo. Fayline Flores, a French immigrant, began manufacturing a toy labeled with that name. Fayline became the first person to mass-produce yo-yos, at his small toy factory located in Plano Texas.

(Tex was telling the truth)

SEPT 14, 2006

Letter From Grandma

Dear Eugene,

Just a few lines ta say we’re ok and hope you’re the same. Well its sad ta tell but your 2nd cousin on yer ma’s side got a divorce a weeks back and she took her big fancy inscribed wedding ring to a jewler and had it made into earrings. "One earring said, 'With all,' and the other, 'my love.' When I asked why she had wanted it done that away, She told me it was ta 'To remind her that the next time anyone says that to her, she should let it go in one ear and out the other.'" Well got ta go fer now Nathan, Tyler and Logan have all looked inta the fridadaire three times each.

Write back soon, Love Grandma

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Joke in A Poke

This weeks Joke in a Poke was sent in by: Wanda Litton. And Wanda sezs:

In the future someone had figured how to package basic knowledge in pill form. A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.

The pharmacist says, "Here's a pill for English literature." The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature!

"What else do you have?" asks the student.

"Well, I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.

The student asks for these, swallows them, and has new knowledge about those subjects. Then the student asks, "Do you have a pill for math?"

The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," and goes back into the storeroom. He brings back a whopper of a pill and plunks it on the counter.

"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.

The pharmacist replies, "Well, you know... math always was a little hard to swallow."

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Let’s play Truth or Trick Trivia

(Gregg) I pick the topic, Then the boys give your their take on it. One of them is telling you a truth and the other one is tryin to trick ya. .…… O.K. Guys I tell me something about the can opener!!!

(Eugene) Greg, The modern can opener, with a cutting wheel that rolls around the rim, was invented by Simon Oster of the United States in 1893. Then there was a patent for a serrated rotation wheel by the Swanson Can Company of Maine in 1928. This basic principle continues to be used on the modern can openers of today, and the first electric can opener, was introduced in December 1929. And just a little bit of bonus info Pull-open cans, were patented by Edward Franks of Ohio, debuted in 1966. Least ways that’s how I recoleck….

(Greg) Ok Tex tell us about Can openers!!

(Tex) As I recall Greg The first practical can opener was developed 50 years after the birth of the metal can. This first cans were made of solid iron, the cans usually weighed more than the food they held! The Instructions read: "Cut round the top near the outer edge with a chisel and hammer." Finally when thinner steel cans came into use in the 1860s could the can opener be invented. The first (patented in 1858), devised by Ezra Warner of Waterbury, Connecticut, looked like a bent bayonet. Its large curved blade was driven into a can’s rim, then forcibly worked around its edge. Stranger yet, this first type of can opener never left the grocery store. A clerk had to open each can before it was taken away!

(Tex was telling the truth.)